I would sugest contacting you nearest 'Carers' center, as the 'Young Carers' Groups are not just for those that have a distinct Caring Role, but for youngsters that Care. (I ran three groups of Young Carers for over 4 years). The youngsters meet in groups, - often age appropriate, and talk about everything! Being part of a family that have a person ill, be it an adult, or a sibling does have a big impact, and talking with others that have the same experiences, and have found ways to handle questions that arise, is a big help. There is also an impact on childrens schooling when they are worrying, often needlessly.

Support can be offerred in many ways, both socially and in offerring a Listening Ear. There is often an experienced adult who could answer the questions that youngster often feel they can't ask at home. We once provided a telephone call card for a youngster, who would occasionally have a panic thought about her Dad, and being able to call home from the school Office, just freed her to go back to being a school girl.

I also came across a group that offered a (moderated) chat room for Young Carers, and good friendships were formed on there. Good luck with what ever you find for your daughter. It always amazed the young people I came in contact with that so many OTHER young people had people to Care about. One Year, a young lad joined us, only to find a class mate was already with us. Neither knew the other came to our groups!

sorry i also wanted to say, if your daughter would like to chat to me at all i would be really happy to help in any way i can x

Hi Steph

I understand how you must be feeling about Alex's reaction, which in the circumstances is quite normal. I think one of the main things is that you are always honest with her if she asks questions about the RA. She will then understand the need for you all to adapt to a certain extent until things improve, which they will. What is also important for you both to realise is that RA is not a death sentence; with today's modern medicines the disease can be well controlled and people go on to live near normal lives. For the main part, with the exception of those diagnosed more than 10 years ago (before such 'good' drugs came our way!) and those with severe disease, once the disease is controlled joint damage is a thing of the past.

I would suggest taking particular care in seeking "someone to talk to" for your daughter. In my opinion she needs the reassurance from you that all will be well. Each of us is very different in both our physical reaction to the disease (I have severe disease with long term joint damage) and how we deal with it emotionally. Perhaps speaking to the NRAS helpline about your concerns for Alex may be the most appropriate way forward.

Best wishes

Lyn x

lorna you said what all us daughters want to hear! just remember when you mums smile we smile with you...when you have a hard day we struggle along side you...but never feel bad about that as this is the only way we are able to try and understand in the tiniest way some of what you go through xxx